“Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.” ~ Audre Lorde

For years, I couldn’t stand the idea of my mother thinking I was a selfish, spoiled brat, a liar, a sneak, and someone who takes the easy way out.

And and and.

Now I am fine with her thinking those things, because they’re true. I have been all of those things at various points in my life. And it’s likely I will be again.

A selfish, spoiled brat? Check.

A liar? Check.

A sneak? Check.

Someone who takes the easy way out? Check.

Check. Check. Check.

Because I accept those things about myself, she can’t use them against me to manipulate me.

Which doesn’t mean I use selfishness, lying, sneaking, and taking the easy way out to be a jerk to others. It’s not a dismissive declaration of “zero fucks given.”

It’s an awareness and an acceptance of the parts of myself I used to hide out of shame. Now I can, as my friend Christie Inge says, use these parts consciously…to gather their energy and direct it and wield it for good.

What do you need to accept about yourself so your mother (or others) can no longer use it do diminish (or manipulate) you?

Much, much love,


P.S. Here’s another question for you to consider and journal on: is your life a reflection of what you want or what your mother wants/wanted?

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