Let’s talk about FODO (fear of disappointing others)

by KCLAnderson | Jan 18, 2021 | Adult daughter, Awareness, Boundaries, Emotions, Empowerment, Mother-daughter relationship, Re-mothering, The Wisdom of Others, Trauma

“All forward motion disappoints someone.” ~ Seth Godin Question from a reader re Why Rehashing The Past Doesn’t Work: “What if my mother doesn’t understand that I am moving on from the dynamic and her feelings are hurt? It’s hard to...

A brave middle path

by KCLAnderson | Oct 30, 2020 | Awareness, Empowerment, Feminism, Generational patterns, Guilt, Mother Wound, Mother-daughter relationship, The Wisdom of Others

(Listen to the podcast version) I recently read A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum.  It’s a semi-autobiographical novel about three generations of Palestinian women living in the U.S. and the (in some cases deadly) generational shame passed down consciously and...

the most life-affirming thing you’ve ever done

by KCLAnderson | Oct 21, 2020 | Adult daughter, Awareness, Boundaries, controlling mother, Emotions, Empowerment, Feminism, forgiveness, Generational patterns, grief, Guilt, Mother Wound, Mother-daughter relationship, Re-mothering, Relationships, Self-Acceptance, The Wisdom of Others

It’s not easy to reconcile and heal your relationship with your mother if it’s been a source of suffering. It’s an ongoing process that can include the cycling of intense emotion (fear, rage, grief) and the seeming lack of emotion (numbness). It can also include...

There is no failure; there is only practice

by KCLAnderson | Aug 11, 2020 | Awareness, Emotions, Empowerment, Generational patterns, Mother-daughter relationship

You are built to feel love. It’s your birthright. And there’s a part of you that wants to feel love when you think about your mother. Even if she was a terrible person. Even if she did terrible things. The idea of feeling love for her might also feel...

Crying out for Mother…again

by KCLAnderson | Jun 19, 2020 | Awareness, Emotions, Empowerment, Feminism, Generational patterns, grief, Mother Wound, Mother-daughter relationship, racism, Re-mothering, Relationships

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I noticed that the fur on our pup Scout’s cheek was wet. We had noticed it few days prior, but chalked it up to it being rainy and humid. Then we noticed that it was also sticky. When we tried to clean it, she yelped. We...

You know this is true

by KCLAnderson | Apr 28, 2020 | Adult daughter, Anger, Awareness, Emotions, Empowerment, Feminism, Generational patterns, inner critic, Mother-daughter relationship, Re-mothering, Shadow

“A bad mood can feel luxurious in a society that binds our happiness to our productivity.⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣” ~ my friend Nicole Lawrence I was in such a foul mood on Saturday. I carried it with me, purposefully, and it was like a heavy purse that keeps sliding off...