“Support” isn’t always what you need or want

by KCLAnderson | Oct 10, 2019 | Empowerment, Generational patterns, Mother-daughter relationship, narcissism

People share articles about narcissistic (or, insert issue of your choice here) mothers with me. The articles are often accurate. And at the same time, they can be limiting. And in some ways harmful. It’s the same with online “support” groups. While...

I stopped, I started, I asked

by KCLAnderson | Sep 14, 2019 | Generational patterns, Mother-daughter relationship, narcissism, Relationships, Self-Acceptance

I stopped wishing she’d change. I started noticing the difference between what she does and how I labeled it. I asked myself two key questions. Re: wishing she’d change Think about how hard it is to change a significant behavior. First, you have to know it’s a...

“There’s no need to feel _____________” and other lies we’ve been told

by KCLAnderson | Jul 13, 2018 | Awareness, Emotions, Feminism, Generational patterns, Mother-daughter relationship, narcissism, Relationships, The Wisdom of Others, Trauma

Just now I was reading a novel in which one character (let’s call her Ann) says to another (let’s call her Zoe), “There’s no need to feel embarrassed.” Ostensibly, Ann wants Zoe to feel better. She doesn’t want Zoe to feel...

I have a shame-based fear of being ordinary…and

by KCLAnderson | Jun 2, 2018 | Generational patterns, narcissism, Re-mothering, Shadow, Shame, The Wisdom of Others

“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.” ~ Brené Brown, in her...

On trauma, healing, and understanding narcissistic mothers

by KCLAnderson | May 25, 2018 | Awareness, Boundaries, Emotions, Feminism, Generational patterns, Mother-daughter relationship, narcissism, Trauma

This comment came by way of a review of The Peaceful Daughter’s Guideon Amazon a couple of years ago. Your book has some good information, but it’s NOT for those dealing with a gaslighting, lying, manipulative full-blown Narcissist Mother. In that...