Love, it takes strength and courage to rock your family’s boat. To choose differently than what has been done for generations. To not do what was done just because they did it.
When you make this choice you’re shifting and changing generations of identity and belief. You’re the one on the leading edge.
The need to belong to your family is primal. Choosing differently might rend the connection. It’s risky. There’s uncertainty.
Your DNA informs who you are and connects you to your family, but it’s not the whole of who you are. It’s not the source of your identity. You get to create that. You get to make a different choice. You get to decide you want something different. Something healthier.
And in so doing, you get to create something new. Others may judge it as good or bad, better or worse, right or wrong, but you get to know that it’s simply different.
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s how you know it’s your path.” ~ Joseph Campbell
With no path to follow you get to dig deep and choose to trust yourself. To reconnect yourself to the wisdom of your emotions, which contain within them the wisdom of the ages, wisdom that was often denied or ignored because it wasn’t convenient. Because it was powerful. Because of fear.
This is not a rebuke of your family. Of your mother. It’s a reclamation and it’s an act of love in a world that rarely rewards such acts.
Let this Winter Solstice be a time to honor the shadows within your maternal lineage, to reclaim and transform all that was and is ugly and unpleasant. To release anger and resentment toward those who could not or would not see you. To remember compassion for those who could not or would not see themselves. To see yourself. To be a model for that.
It’s risky. There’s uncertainty.
And so much freedom. And love.
Much, much love,
Reveal patterns. Heal shame. Transform legacies.
P.S. This is the work we will be doing in the Make It Real 2020 Transformational Book Club. Pre-order The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns and join us for free!