A client asked me if I still need to work on my relationship with my mother. She wondered if I feel good about it all the time.
I laughed out loud.

Yes I still work on it and no I don’t feel good about it all the time. In fact, I have not spoken to my mother in over a month and I am feeling a little guilty about it and a little fearful, too. Me, a life coach who has built a business around helping women heal the relationships they have with their mothers.

I am honest with myself and that’s priceless.


I consider my relationship with my mother “healed” whether I call her or not. Whether I feel guilty and fearful or not. Because I’m the one who decides what it means. There is no outside measure of “healed.” Or “transformed.” Or “successful.”

You get to decide.

And isn’t that a relief??

You can use the troubled relationship you have with your mother (or daughter) as a catalyst for growth.

But don’t mistake “growth” for meaning perfection, improvement (based on some outside measuring stick), and feeling good all the time.

Growth means what you decide it means.

Not me. Not your mother. Not your therapist.

And then standing in the truth of it. And living from THAT place.

Because you, my friend, are an extension of the power that created the ever-loving UNIVERSE (thank you Ru Paul).

Much, much love,


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