THE SHAME SCHOOL COMMUNITY
with Karen C.L Anderson
Because shame deserves community, not isolation
Liberate yourself from inherited beliefs that prevent you from being who you really are
The Shame School Community is a 12-month (you can start when you want) program where you learn to navigate internalized, generational shame and ultimately transform your relationship to it.
With weekly skills, practices, tools, activities, writing prompts, and several monthly Zoom calls.
At the root of most of the decisions that keep us awake at night lies...SHAME.
It’s a "fixed mindset" epidemic not of our making. It's like a finger trap: the more you struggle to get out of it, all the while blaming yourself for struggling, the more stuck in it you become. And women are 80% more likely than men to believe "it's a me problem."
Shame’s false truth:
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"I am the problem. There's something wrong with me. I need to fix/improve/change me."
It also sounds like:
"I'm not good enough/worthy enough/lovable enough.”
Or maybe simply, “I’m bad.”
And how do we respond when shame runs the show? Poorly. Just look around.
On a personal level, shame affects our relationships, work, creativity, and health. On a societal level, it keeps us feeling "less-than," infantilized, dependent, and unable to advocate for ourselves and each other.
What if you could live without the constant weight of shame?
The actual truth.
This isn’t a you problem. The problem is how you were taught to think about yourself and what’s possible for you - what you were socialized to believe about yourself. THAT is the problem.
Imagine Life, Unshamed
Picture a life where you feel confident, empowered, and free to express yourself fully. By transforming your relationship with shame, you open the door to deeper emotional flexibility, wisdom, dignity, and integrity. You become more audacious, express your true self, and build healthier relationships.
And what happens then?
Just about everything you desire.
Shame School is now a community.
Instead of an intensive three-month experience, it is a more leisurely, go-at-your-own-pace
deep-dive into the heart of shame:
what it is, where it comes from,
the myths around it, how it impacts us,
and how we can transform
our relationship to it.
“When we have liberated ourselves,
we will have to ask who we are.”
—Ona in Woman Talking
Your pathway to freedom.
How does Shame School get you there?
First you understand it, then you transform it
and relate to it differently.
Healing comes from regulation, connection, and safety in real relationships.
Our stress responses are shaped by how we were treated.
In the Shame School Community we focus on treating ourselves and each other well.
We practice three skills:
1. Safety
Understanding and working with the physiology of our nervous systems and the role shame plays in being triggered.
2. Intentional identity
Offer your brain an alternative to the shame-based stories you have about yourself.
3. Healthy boundaries
Learn to take care of yourself when others project their shame onto you (and avoid projecting your shame onto others).
Why join the Shame School Community?
I created the Shame School community because I wanted to gather a group to do the work of de-stigmatizing shame in a way that feels nourishing, safe, and fun.
I offer this program from personal experience—having faced and transformed my own shame…I now operate without fear of it. I won’t guide you clinically, but rather as someone who understands the journey firsthand.
Shame School is not a traditional program with modules and PowerPoints. It's a deeply personal, interactive experience designed to foster growth and transformation.
Shame School is a call to deepen emotional flexibility, wisdom, dignity, and integrity. Audacity. Expression. It's a rite of passage.
Shame School is for this precise moment in history because we need to gather and strengthen for what may come. We need to change the mood of this world because we have come too goddam far to be paralyzed and hopeless.
“Shaming is one of the deepest tools of imperialist, white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy because shame produces trauma and trauma often produces paralysis.” —bell hooks
Program Details
Starts March 1, 2026
Format
Several monthly group Zoom call per month (recorded) at various times to accommodate various time zones and schedules, plus pop-up calls, workshops, and other events
Community
Online platform (hosted on the Heartbeat platform) for connecting in between
Resources
Access to the online Shame School Library (hosted on Heartbeat) where you will find 52 weekly, bite-sized lessons, practices, tools, activities, writing prompts that fall into four categories: general, creating safety, creating intentional identity, and creating healthy boundaries. Each lesson explores concepts and different ways to put them into practice because not everyone resonates with the same techniques and practices. Each lesson builds on the others.
My book
A copy of You Are Not Your Mother: Releasing Generational Trauma and Shame (Kindle or paperback)
Price $750
FAQS
What happens during the live calls and are these on Zoom?
The live Zoom calls will be for discussion, connecting, sharing, and coaching on what's comes up as you go through the lessons.
Are there any "ground rules" on sharing detailed information about trauma, such as specifics about what happened?
Yes, there will be ground rules and boundaries. Whenever I do a group thing one of the first things we do is talk about them and add to them as needed/desired. My job as facilitator is to make it safe and to be a role model for handling what feels unsafe. Because if there's one thing I know, joining a group like this feels inherently unsafe :-)
How big is the group?
That remains to be seen. It could be 10, it could (eventually) be 100. The main difference between the former version of Shame School (which was 12 weeks and didn't have much of a community aspect) and the Shame School Community is that I am not capping the number at 10-12 participants. The more flexible nature of the Shame School Community can accommodate a larger number of participants.
You mentioned access to workshops are these recorded in case they are at a time when some can't make it?
Yes. I strive to record all group calls/events. Have I forgotten to do that? Yes, it has happened a couple of times.
How long are the calls?
The Zoom calls will be 90 minutes. You are not required to stay for the entire time. You can pop in, ask for what you need and leave. I have found, both as a participant and as a facilitator, that an hour can feel limiting but anything over 90 minutes starts to be too long.
Can an attendee go to different calls each month or do they pick a time and stay with that time?
Yes, there will be three or four calls per month at various times to accommodate various schedules and time zones. I currently have one scheduled for 1 p.m. Eastern on the first Thursday of each month. I plan to also offer an 8 a.m. call and a 6 p.m. call. This may change depending on the needs of the group.
Is it ok to be driving with camera off during a call?
Yes. There are no rules about cameras being on or off.
Shame School is about embodying the archetype of the Alpha Mare.
With all that I have, and with thanks to Martha Beck and Elizabeth Gilbert, I leave you with this quote:
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The Alpha Mare is calm, because her boundaries are impeccable. She knows who she is, and the other horses do not mess with her. They do not approach her without her invitation. The Alpha Mare does not let herself be influenced by another horse's fears or anxieties or aggression. She knows the right thing to do, and she does it. The other horses follow her lead. She doesn’t need approval or permission. She lives and breathes from a place of integrity and certainty, because of her strong and appropriate boundaries. As a result, she is relaxed and at peace. She has an undefended heart.
She is a Mare Unshamed.
Email Karen if you have any questions.
©Karen C.L Anderson // All rights reserved // Return to homepage