TAKE Care of yourself

in the relationship

you have with
YOUR MOTHER

 

Guilt. Shame. Fear. Frustration. 

White. 

Hot! 

RAGE!

Dissolving into hopelessness.

Resignation.

 With excursions into anxiety.

 Deep sadness.

 Rinse/repeat.

 This may be where you are right now.

~~~

Free. Light. Open. Authentic. Grounded. Boundaried.

 Proud of yourself.

 Joyful.

 Human.

 Able to ride the waves of all your human emotions.

 No matter what your mother said and did (or is saying and doing). 

 Less affected by her. 

 This may be what you’re wanting more of.

 This is what Mother Lode Mentorship is for. 

Trauma-conscious boundary advice + tools + coaching so you can take care of yourself in the relationship you have with your mother.

This is not a “you’re not okay the way you are” process. There’s nothing to fix. It’s not about improving yourself. Or changing who you are. 

(she’s not involved, either)

No. 

You’ve done enough of that already.

The Mother Lode is about returning to yourself. Being more of who you are, not less, so you can like and respect yourself whether you’re in contact with her or not.

It’s not about saving or rescuing you from your problems, but about recognizing the truth about your humanity and meeting you in your highest vision for your life, well-resourced and creative.

A loving, clear-eyed, courageous woman who says yes to herself. 

More specifically, we work together on the following things:

  1. Getting clarity on how you want to move forward in your relationship with your mother. Go no contact? Limit the amount of contact? Keep it the way it is? Change it in some way? I ask questions, some you’ve likely never considered before, to help you decide what’s right for you. 

2. Understanding your nervous system and it’s unique responses so you can work WITH it and not against it. I will show and practice with you several simple somatic exercises that don’t take up a lot of your time. These practices will help you whether you’re feeling irritated and annoyed or hopeless and overwhelmed.

3. Deciding what boundaries you want to establish and maintain, as well as how to communicate them with the least amount of anxiety and guilt. We role-play to make sure you feel comfortable having boundary conversations and so you can handle any blow-back or demands for explanations.

4. Addressing the people-pleasing, the self-sabotaging, the defensiveness, the hopelessness. Hint, this actually has to do with your nervous system’s perception of threat. In other words, this is not “just who you are” or character flaws. And it’s much easier to stop once you understand why you do it.

  1. Shifting your self-concept intentionally and with care and respect for yourself. This piece alone is worth the price of admission. It’s a mind-body practice that goes way beyond positive affirmations and mindset work. 
  1. Laying a solid foundation for the future. I will teach you a simple Awareness Model that will help you untangle and slow down the complex reaction scenario that seems to happen every time you talk to your mother.

You tell me what you want and I bring a wealth of expertise on everything from difficult mother-daughter relationships, to boundaries, to trauma, to self-expression, to living a more creative life.

You may think it’s impossible. You may think this is your lot in life. 

Your mother is not going to change (she might, but waiting for it, counting on it, so you can feel  better is an exercise in futility). 

And you’re tired of trying to change.

There’s another option. If you’re willing to choose it, it will be one of the most life-affirming things you ever do.  

 

 What clients are saying:

 

“My relationship with my mother has completely changed.  And the amazing thing is that I never talked to her about my work and she was not directly involved in it.  I used to feel that she was judging me all the time.  Even when she wasn’t saying anything, her voice was in my head telling me I was no good and that I was failing.  I constantly checked to see if she was cross with me and it was exhausting and meant I was in a constant state of people pleasing her and I would hide a lot of myself for fear she would not agree with what I was doing. 

One of the biggest results I had working with you was in the relationship with myself.  I had spent all my life pleasing others, starting with my parents, and so I pushed aside the parts of me that others didn’t like.  You helped me not only accept these parts of me but to love them and to acknowledge what good they bring.  And then to see what reassurance they need from me to feel loved and to stop fighting for my attention.

 As a mother, I was so scared about repeating my relationship with my mother with my daughter.  So when I did anything that reminded me of my mother I beat myself up.  I avoided acting at all like her even though a lot of what she did was right (I didn’t turn out badly!!).  You helped me look at my relationship with my daughter and see how I wanted to show up.  Some of the things I did would be like my mum, and I would make mistakes, but all that is fine.   

 I would recommend Karen to anyone (full stop!) but particularly if you are struggling with your relationship with your mother and/or daughter.  Karen does not pretend to have it all sorted with her mother and because of that she gives you permission for it not to be perfect for you. 

 It can be hard to admit when you struggle with your relationship with your mother.  You can have a lot of shame around yours not being as good as other peoples’.  If you feel that way and would rather bury it or just keep trying to be better than please don’t.  Sign up with Karen.  She will never judge you and so allow you to stop judging yourself.  I didn’t have any idea that things would change so much when I worked with Karen and so if you are in doubt, just do it!” ~ R.L.

~~~

“I saw my mom at Christmas and feel really good about the visit. She was herself, of course, and I felt triggered of course, and I managed to stay grounded in my body so I could stay aware of my thoughts and manage my reactions/responses. It was a beautiful thing and I left feeling like I showed up exactly as I wanted to. Thanks for your help in working through all of that. I seriously think the biggest ah-ha was just realizing that never feeling triggered wasn’t the goal!” ~ J.B.

~~~

“Just over a year ago I read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters. Afterwards I started receiving her weekly emails and listening to her podcasts, which was an expanded experience for me. When I think of my mother and the headspace I gave our relationship, it was very contracted. I started to realize how much of my daily life I was affording to this contracted experience; how much time I spent thinking, anticipating, dreading talking to or being around my mother. So, I signed up for coaching with Karen.

In our time together I learned how to neutralize my thoughts, set healthy boundaries, and open my daily life to more expansion. It allowed me to look at some old stuff I had cut off for decades. This created space for massive healing.

I come away from this work not only liberated, but with tangible models I use with everyday obstacles.

Karen creates such a safe, judgement free environment in order to do very deep, quick, healing work. Her down-to-earth, funny, genuine personality made me feel even more comfortable to dig deep. I will be forever grateful for this life changing experience. Thank You Karen!” ~ Angela Turner, Charlotte, NC

 

Details, Price, & practicalities:

We meet weekly via Zoom for six months (24 sessions).

I provide practical, actionable tools and strategies, stories of how I did it, worksheets, journal prompts, and other resources, as well as unlimited email support between meetings. 

The investment for this offer is $5000.

If you are ready to get started, please click here, answer a few questions, and I’ll be in touch!  

Much, much love,

Karen C.L. Anderson Author and Coach

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