You are a smart, creative woman…
(probably with a bit of a rebellious streak)
…you have so much going for you…
…you have achieved success in many areas of your life…
…and you also have a difficult or troubled relationship with your mother and it seems to overshadow everything else.
You KNOW it is negatively impacting important parts of your life.
She is the Kryptonite* to your Superwoman and you just want to be free from the drama.
- Stop spending your time and energy “managing” and “coping.”
- Live with less guilt, anger, and defensiveness.
- Learn the critical skill of responding, not reacting.
- Feel both safe and powerful in making changes to the relationship.
- Trust and respect yourself.
- Shift your focus from blaming her (or yourself) to taking responsibility for yourself.
- Establish and maintain healthy boundaries, up to and including going no contact if that’s the right choice for you.
- Feel more positively (or at least neutral) about the relationship, even if you choose to have very little, or no contact with her.
- Have a drama-free adult relationship with your mother.
The Mother Lode
1. Getting clarity on how you want to move forward in your relationship with your mother. Go no contact? Limit the amount of contact? Keep it the way it is? Change it in some way? I ask questions, some you’ve likely never considered before, to help you decide what’s right for you. She doesn’t have to be involved.
2. Understanding your nervous system and it’s unique responses so you can work WITH it and not against it. I will show and practice with you several simple somatic exercises that don’t take up a lot of your time. These exercises will help you whether you’re feeling irritated and annoyed or hopeless and overwhelmed.
3. Deciding what boundaries you want to establish and maintain, as well as how to communicate them with the least amount of anxiety and guilt. We role-play to make sure you feel comfortable having boundaries conversations and so you can handle any blow-back or demands for explanations.
4. Kicking the people-pleasing habit for good. Hint, this actually has to do with your nervous system’s perception of threat. In other words, it’s not a character flaw. And it’s much easier to stop once you understand why you do it.
5. Rewriting your story so it’s no longer a source of suffering and is, instead, a source of wisdom, creativity, richness and humanity. Not to mention the impact this has on future generations. In other words, you are standing on your story; it’s not standing on you.
6. Laying a solid foundation for the changes you are making. I will teach you a simple Awareness Model that will help you untangle and slow down the complex thought-feeling-reaction process that seems to happen every time you talk to your mother.
Bottom Line: you’ll come away from our time together with
GREATER confidence, self-respect, and self-trust and LESS fear and shame.
What clients are saying:
“Over the period that we have worked together, my relationship with my mother has completely changed. And the amazing thing is that I never talked to her about my work and she was not directly involved in it. I used to feel that she was judging me all the time. Even when she wasn’t saying anything, her voice was in my head telling me I was no good and that I was failing. I constantly checked to see if she was cross with me and it was exhausting and meant I was in a constant state of people pleasing her and I would hide a lot of myself for fear she would not agree with what I was doing.
When we first started working together, I was living with my parents but I wanted to move out. I felt huge amounts of guilt for being (what I thought) was selfish for putting my needs first. You helped me see that it wasn’t selfish and I wasn’t making them feel anything.
One of the biggest results I had working with you was in the relationship with myself. I had spent all my life pleasing others, starting with my parents, and so I pushed aside the parts of me that others didn’t like. You helped me not only accept these parts of me but to love them and to acknowledge what good they bring. And then to see what reassurance they need from me to feel loved and to stop fighting for my attention.
As a mother, I was so scared about repeating my relationship with my mother with my daughter. So when I did anything that reminded me of my mother I beat myself up. I avoided acting at all like her even though a lot of what she did was right (I didn’t turn out badly!!). You helped me look at my relationship with my daughter and see how I wanted to show up. Some of the things I did would be like my mum, and I would make mistakes, but all that is fine.
I would recommend Karen to anyone (full stop!) but particularly if you are struggling with your relationship with your mother and/or daughter. Karen does not pretend to have it all sorted with her mother and because of that she gives you permission for it not to be perfect for you.
It can be hard to admin when you struggle with your relationship with your mother. You can have a lot of shame around yours not being as good as other peoples’. If you feel that way and would rather bury it or just keep trying to be better than please don’t. Sign up with Karen. She will never judge you and so allow you to stop judging yourself. I didn’t have any idea that things would change so much when I worked with Karen and so if you are in doubt, just do it!” ~ R.L.
“I saw my mom at Christmas and feel really good about the visit. She was herself, of course, and I felt triggered of course, and I managed to stay grounded in my body so I could stay aware of my thoughts and manage my reactions/responses. It was a beautiful thing and I left feeling like I showed up exactly as I wanted to. Thanks for your help in working through all of that. I seriously think the biggest ah-ha was just realizing that never feeling triggered wasn’t the goal!” ~ J.B.
“Just over a year ago I read Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters. Afterwards I started receiving her weekly emails and listening to her podcasts, which was an expanded experience for me. When I think of my mother and the headspace I gave our relationship, it was very contracted. I started to realize how much of my daily life I was affording to this contracted experience; how much time I spent thinking, anticipating, dreading talking to or being around my mother. So, I signed up for coaching with Karen.
In our time together I learned how to neutralize my thoughts, set healthy boundaries, and open my daily life to more expansion. It allowed me to look at some old stuff I had cut off for decades. This created space for massive healing.
I come away from this work not only liberated, but with tangible models I use with everyday obstacles.
Karen creates such a safe, judgement free environment in order to do very deep, quick, healing work. Her down-to-earth, funny, genuine personality made me feel even more comfortable to dig deep. I will be forever grateful for this life changing experience. Thank You Karen!” ~ Angela Turner, Charlotte, NC
Details, Price, & practicalities:
We meet weekly via Zoom. You’ll have the opportunity to record the calls if you’d like.
I will provide practical, actionable tools and strategies, stories of how I did it, worksheets, journal prompts, and other resources as well as unlimited email support between meetings.
The investment for this offer is $3000.
If you are interested in learning more, please click here, answer a few questions, and I’ll be in touch!
Much, much love,