SHAME SCHOOL
Liberation from the inherited beliefs that prevent you from being who you really are
with Karen C.L Anderson
At the root of most of the decisions that keep us awake at night lies...SHAME.
It’s a "fixed mindset" epidemic not of our making. It's like a finger trap: the more you struggle to get out of it, all the while blaming yourself for struggling, the more stuck in it you become. And women are 80% more likely than men to believe "it's a me problem."
Shame falsely tells us,
"I am the problem...there's something wrong with me…I need to fix/improve/change me."
It also sounds like:
"I'm not good enough/worthy enough/lovable enough.”
Or maybe simply, “I’m bad.”
And how do we respond when shame runs the show? Poorly. Just look around.
What if you could live without the constant weight of shame?
Imagine Life,
Unshamed
Picture a life where you feel confident, empowered, and free to express yourself fully. By transforming your relationship with shame, you open the door to deeper emotional maturity, wisdom, dignity, and integrity. You can become more audacious, express your true self, and build healthier relationships.
And what happens then? Just about everything you desire.
Shame School is a three-month excursion
into the heart of shame:
what it is, where it comes from,
the myths around it, how it impacts us,
and how we can transform
our relationship to it.
“When we have liberated ourselves,
we will have to ask who we are.”
—Ona in Woman Talking
Shame’s false “truth”.
❞
"I am the problem...there's something wrong with me…I need to fix/improve/change me."
On a personal level, shame affects our relationships, work, creativity, and health. On a societal level, it keeps us feeling "less-than," infantilized, dependent, and unable to advocate for ourselves and each other.
The actual truth.
❞
"This isn’t a ‘me’ problem. The problem is how I was taught to think about myself and what’s possible for me…what I was socialized to believe about myself. THAT is the problem."
Your pathway to freedom.
How does Shame School get you there?
Over three months, we will dive deep into understanding shame and learn practical skills to transform it.
We will work on three skills, within the framework of the “6 Ns”:
Name
Notice
Normalize
Narrate to neutralize
Need
Next
Safety
Understanding and working with the physiology of our nervous systems and the role shame plays in being triggered.
2. Intentional identity
Offer your brain an alternative to the shame-based stories you have about yourself.
3. Healthy boundaries
Learn to take care of yourself when others project their shame onto you (and avoid projecting your shame onto others).
Why join Shame School?
I created Shame School because I wanted to gather a group to do the work of destigmatizing shame in a way that feels nourishing, safe, and fun.
I offer this program from personal experience—having faced and transformed my own shame…I now operate without fear of it. I won’t guide you clinically, but rather as someone who understands the journey firsthand.
Shame School is not a traditional program with modules and PowerPoints. It's a deeply personal, interactive experience designed to foster growth and transformation.
Shame School is a call to deepen emotional maturity, wisdom, dignity, and integrity. Audacity. Expression. It's a rite of passage.
Shame School is for this precise moment in history because we need to gather and strengthen for what may come. We need to change the mood of this world because we have come too goddam far to be paralyzed and hopeless.
“Shaming is one of the deepest tools of imperialist, white supremacist, capitalist patriarchy because shame produces trauma and trauma often produces paralysis.” ~ bell hooks
Program Details
Three months (12 weeks) starting February, 2025
Format: 90 minute group Zoom calls every week (recorded) and
Two private 1:1 calls
Community: an online group hosted on the Shame School Slack channel
Resources: Access to the online Shame School Library
Email Karen if you have any questions.
The cost is $600
Shame School is about embodying the archetype of the Alpha Mare.
With all that I have, and with thanks to Martha Beck and Elizabeth Gilbert, I leave you with this quote:
❞
The Alpha Mare is calm, because her boundaries are impeccable. She knows who she is, and the other horses do not mess with her. They do not approach her without her invitation. The Alpha Mare does not let herself be influenced by another horse's fears or anxieties or aggression. She knows the right thing to do, and she does it. The other horses follow her lead. She doesn’t need approval or permission. She lives and breathes from a place of integrity and certainty, because of her strong and appropriate boundaries. As a result, she is relaxed and at peace. She has an undefended heart.
She is a Mare Unshamed.
